Mothers know best
by TeeAndra
Summary: "If I wished to embrace my feelings Jim, I would have admitted my love for you a long time ago." When Spock and Kirk visit Spock's parents at Vulcan, Sarek notices something different about his son - so does Amanda. Set in an AU in which Sarek and Spock are speaking to each other.


The shore leave buzz was evident throughout the Enterprise and her crew. Even though it was barely a week long, it was vital for everyone. Vulcan had offered its planet as a place to stay and some crew members had embraced the calmness of its grounds; it was a large difference from the vibrant ship they were used to. That was exactly why Captain Kirk and Commander Spock were currently preparing to beam down to Vulcan themselves - that and Kirk was eager to meet his first officer's parents. The sharp lights shined down onto the transporter and the control panel which blinked numerous colours and the transporter itself was ready to beam down the two member atop it whose shadows covered the transporter floor. The console beeps angrily and ensigns entered and exited the room, the door efficiently opening and closing on cue. The door swished open one final time as Montgomery Scott entered, he nods at his commanding officers, who return the gesture, then he moves towards the console. After altering the controls slightly he raises his head to speak,

"Are ye ready to go sirs?" The chief engineer smiled at the men on the transporter pad, his Scottish dialect obvious in merely a sentence. Kirk was the first to reply and he spoke with confidence and authority,

"We're ready Scotty." He looks at Spock who nods quickly, his hands behind his back before turning back to Scotty.

"Energize." He commanded and after a brief 'Aye sir' from the Scotsman the transporter whirred to life and Kirk and Spock were disembodied.

* * *

Meters away from Spock's family home stood Rekan - he was sent by Sarek to guide his son and companion into his home. Rekan was positioned exactly where he was informed to stand and sure enough two figures appeared in front of him. He waited a few seconds for the pair to adjust and comprehend their surroundings before he spoke.

"Greetings Spock, son of Sarek and James Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise." He raised his hand in a respectful ta'al as he spoke which was hastily returned by Kirk and Spock. Then Rekan continued,

"I am Rekan and shall be your guide to the House of Surak. If you would please follow me." Without waiting for a reply, Rekan turned and started the walk towards the House of Surak followed by the Captain and Commander.

* * *

The House of Surak was a symbolic house in Vulcan History and the residents that lived there, past and present, were descendants of Surak - the father of all we became. With enough accommodations to fit eight residents, the house was large but still held the necessities to be a home.

Ambassador Sarek currently was the owner of the house, along with his human wife and hybrid son: this raised many eyebrows among the Vulcan society. Sarek decision to marry and raise a family with a human provoked many questions however Sarek stood by his decision despite it all. Even when his son joined Starfleet although he was displeased, he did not stop nor discourage Spock from joining. At present, the Ambassador is waiting for said son's arrival in his office. He watched his wife in the gardens as she tended the flowers, her brow furrowed with concentration. Sarek felt the warmth of love as he watched her and waited a few seconds before scolding it away and turning to his desk.

When Kirk and Spock finally did arrive, they were greeted by servants to take their bags and a refreshing coolness. The Vulcan sun beats heavily down on Vulcan so both Spock and Kirk were thankful for the cool temperature of the house. Rekan raised ta'al once more before leaving the premises and Kirk and Spock to their thoughts for sometime. Spock was reminiscing about the time spent in this house - the meals, the stories but also the arguments and the awkward silences that always followed. Kirk, on the other hand, was simply trying to picture a younger Spock standing exactly where he was standing now and he was so focused on his thought that he had not realised he was staring at his commander until he was locked eyes with him. Kirk blinked once, twice and then a third time but those smoldering dark eyes remained transfixed on him. A creak from the floor above broke a spell neither knew they were caught in.

Seconds later and Sarek descended down the stairs with a manner of control and ethics. Before he had even reached the bottom of the wooden stairs, Spock stepped forward.

"T'nash-veh sa-fu." Sarek greeted his son formally noting a sadness in his eyes before Spock could control it.

"Sa-mekh." Spock nodded at his father in a brief show of acknowledgement before they both turned to Kirk. The way the pair moved in sync made Spock seem almost the double of his father which did not bode well with Kirk; the Ambassador was a cold being and the thought of Spock becoming the same admittedly scared the Captain.

"Captain Kirk, I welcome thee to my home." The voice of the Ambassador broke Kirk's stream of thought and he forced a smile on his face.

"Thank you Ambassador. I am truly honoured." He made sure to use the same tone and approach he used when dealing with diplomatic missions - it rarely failed."

Suddenly, the sound of someone approaching could be heard and a beat later, Amanda Grayson appeared slightly flushed and smiling widely. She looked at the three males before turning to her only son with a look that can only be described as mothers love.

"Spock, it's good to see you." Amanda desperately wanted to hug him but she knew how Spock felt about physical contact in company so she settled for a warm smile towards her son. Then she turned to the Captain who had an equally warm smile plastered on his face and Amanda found it a refreshing change from the emotionless faces she was used to.

"Captain Kirk I believe." Despite not being fond of the use of his title, Kirk nodded politely before she continued,

"It's an honour to meet you." Her smile grew brighter and warmer as she enjoyed the company of another human for once.

"The honor is all mine, ma'am." Kirk replied kindly. All though he felt welcomed, Kirk really wanted to be rid of this awkward tension he was beginning to feel towards Spock and the Ambassador behind Amanda. His unsaid prayers were answered when another Vulcan approached,

"Shall I show the Captain to his room sir?" The female was just smaller than Amanda but was completely Vulcan with her pointed ears and slanted. Sarek looked between Kirk and Spock before replying,

"No T'Maire, Spock shall do so." She nodded her understanding before departing. Sarek looked at his son and then the Captain again before returning upstairs slowly and Amanda smiled at the pair before following her husband up the stairs. Spock turned to Kirk,

"Shall we, Captain?" He inquired, raising his eyebrow as he did. A familiar look on his face that Kirk liked to believe he only received.

"Lead the way Spock." Kirk said as he followed Spock to his room, in silence.

* * *

The room was well furnished and seemed to be comfortable as far as Kirk could see. There was an en suite bathroom containing towels, body and hair supplements and a traditional Vulcanian shower which Kirk would probably need assistance with getting it to work. It also had a sofa and a large coffee table even though it was only being a bedroom. The bed at the side of the room was large and had a thin, soft sheet covering it. However Kirk found he enjoyed the window view most of all; it overlooked the garden and was simply stunning to look at.

"Wow…" Kirk whispered to himself as he looked at the rows of beautiful colours below him. There were many flowers and bushes that were grown to perfection and radiated a pleasant scent throughout the house. Spock joined Kirk by the window, standing closer to him than perhaps an ordinary Vulcan would allow.

"My mother enjoys gardening and has developed a collection of flowers to grow. I am rather fond of the display as well." His voice was quiet and serene but there was a hint of sorrow in his words. Kirk turned away from the window in favour of looking at Spock instead as he said,

"They're magnificent." Then their eyes locked again and Kirk watched the emotions dance in Spock's eyes then disappear before Kirk could name them. Spock inhaled deeply, his emotions threatening to shatter at the look he was receiving from those stunning hazel eyes which made his heart rapidly beat in his stomach, his palms sweat lightly and his chest feel tight.

Spock's legs were walking away before he had even told them to and then he was gone. Leaving Kirk with the realisation of what had just happened instead of what should have happened and a heavy heart.

* * *

Dinner had been anything but peaceful - to say it was awkward would have been a gross understatement. Kirk was thrilled when it was over and he found himself in the library just looking at the grand collection of books it stored. There were books on logic, chess, and even some in what Kirk could only guess was High Vulcan. After considering reading over a book on the Vulcan History, Kirk stumbled upon a book almost hidden at the bottom of the bookshelf behind a large political book. 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll' it read. It was alien among the advanced books upon the shelves however the book seemed to have been read many times as it was ripped and dented.

"I used to read that to Spock when he was younger; it's my favourite story." Amanda was standing by the entrance of the library with a sad smile on her face as she started to approach Kirk.

"It was one of those few human moments he would allow and they are my most treasured memories I have of Spock." Kirk gently handed her the book as she fondly looked at the old book and Amanda closed her eyes and inhaled deeply reminding Kirk of the episode in his room - and of Spock.

"He wouldn't suit being completely Vulcan. I like Spock just the way he is." Amanda quickly opened her eyes as Kirk finished. She then proceeded to smile warmly at Kirk, kiss him lightly on the cheek whilst handing him back the book and whispering,

"I'm glad you said that." And then she left the library leaving a confused Kirk standing dumbfounded holding the worn book in his hand. After looking at the book some more, he placed it back where he found it mumbling to himself,

"Curiouser and curiouser."

* * *

"Father I do not wish to discuss my emotions at this current time." Said with finality and with a hint of anger which only proved his father right, Spock was awfully aware of how correct his father was.

"Why Spock? We are both aware of how weak your shields have become and how strong your emotions are becoming." Sarek saw no logic in his son's refusal to seek help; it was desperately needed. Spock shook his head.

"It is only temporary and can be solved with meditation." Spock sincerely hoped his father would accept his answer and let him leave his office. However Sarek had another idea, something he had been considering asking Spock but not having a logical reason to ask him. Until today.

"Have you regarded pursuing in Kolinahr?" He watches the series of emotions play on Spock's face before he can control them. Shock. Anger. Sadness.

"Yes." It is whispered as though Spock is finally submitting to his emotions and Sarek watches as his son bows his head slightly, thinking carefully about his choice of words.

"Then you agree that living without emotions would be…"

A hesitant pause "easier for you?" Spock slowly nods before looking his father directly in the eye and there is a pause that can only be described as strained. Then Spock speaks with a finality in his voice,

"I shall meditate over the subject."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside Sarek's office, Kirk was frozen on the spot from shock over the conversation he had not meant to hear. Kirk was almost furious with Sarek because he seem to be enable to see that Spock without emotions was not Spock. He was also scared - was Spock seriously considering this Kolinahr thing? Kirk was finding it difficult to breathe and he had a horrible feeling in his gut. Suddenly the door started to open and before Kirk could react, Spock exited his fathers office. A beat. A second beat. A third beat. All spent looking undeviatingly into each others eyes as they had done so many times previously. Then Kirk slowly, without breaking eye contact, walked around Spock and headed to his room only pausing to check that Spock was following him. He was but at a deliberate slow pace that irritated Kirk as he held his door open. Spock seemed to be testing Kirk. However Kirk remained with his eyes locked with commander and standing by the door until Spock finally entered, brushing against Kirk as he did.

The coolness of the room had vanished and with it, the comfort and they were replaced with a constricted heat as well as an uneasy feeling that everything said in here could change the future either for the good or the worse. Kirk let the door shut as he stepped into the room watching Spock who stood by the same window.

_That same damn window._

The sun was gradually declining, leaving shadows on the Vulcan ground and casting a large shadow on the rooms floor of the figure standing by the window. It was not dark enough to turn a light on but was not light enough to see the features of a man's face. This would have made it easier to talk if the subject was not so unapproachable. Kirk stepped further into the room, preparing to speak however Spock was quicker and spoke first.

"I presume you overheard the conversation between my father and I." It was not a question; Spock knew and it was clear in his manner how much he knew. Kirk was anything but a fool and understood that lying his way out of the situation was useless.

"Yes - I didn't mean to but I'm glad I did." Kirk admitted and finally, Spock turned to face him. Time seemed to slow down as Kirk waited for… something. Anything. But nothing happened until Kirk snapped,

"Say something!" He begged feeling the same intense vulnerability he felt since Tarsus IV.

"I am contemplating pursuing in Kolinahr." Spock stated. Kirk could not help feeling frustrated with himself and Spock simply because he did not truly understand what that Vulcan word meant. In fact all he knew was it had something to do with feelings and that he did not like that particular word.

"And if you were to pursue in this… emr…" The word was on the tip of his tongue but Kirk was having difficulty saying it, thankfully though, Spock sparred him.

"Kolinahr is a ritual in which all remaining emotions are purged and mental discipline is rectified." He explained and Kirk decided that he did not like the word even more now that he understood it. Kirk remembered what he had told Amanda and who happy she was that he had said it. Kirk suddenly saw an emotionless Spock in front of him and it scared him. So Kirk knew he was crossing a line when he asked,

"Do you hate your mother that much?" Anger. Kirk saw anger from the man in front of him and it was oddly comforting to him as it reminded him that his Spock was not emotionless. Thankfully.

"Pardon, Captain?" Spock's control was slipping; he could feel the anger, the confusion but most of all the hurt.

"By purging your emotions, your purging your human side. That's like pretending your** human** mother doesn't exist." Somewhere whilst he was speaking Kirk had raised his voice but he could not remember when. He had not realised that he was so passionate about Spock's emotions until they were threatened to disappear.

"I do not appreciate the accusation Captain and you of all people should understand how I feel about my mother." Spock's voice was raised too and he had stepped closer to Kirk in an attempt to threaten him. But James Kirk could be stubborn when he wanted to be.

"Then why don't you embrace your mother and show how you feel by embracing your human-half as well?!" Now Kirk was shouting which only made the silence that followed even more deadly.

"If I wished to embrace my feelings Jim, I would have admitted my love for you a long time ago." Spock exhaled sharply as he finished, his voice was quieter this time and laced with emotion. He watched the human's reaction to his confession. Kirk had lost all will to think as that sentence repeated again and again around his head. He knew he was blinking and staring off in a distance however it took him longer than usual to find the ability to look at Spock finally. Kirk swallowed; Spock's features were unreadable due to both Spock being a Vulcan arse and the lighting. Kirk gradually turned towards the lights and switched them on before dimming them as well. After a few seconds, he returned back to Spock who was standing exactly where he was before. Kirk gathered some courage by taking a couple deep breaths.

"Y… you" He swallowed. "You love me?" Kirk stuttered.

"Yes." Spock replied instantly with confidence and resoluteness. Kirk's heart did a somersault at the tone of his commander's voice - words and thoughts were rapidly leaving his brain.

"S… Spock," He began but Spock misinterpreted his name as the beginning of Kirk's rejection speech and not being able to hear it, he started his way towards the door. As soon as Kirk realised what was happening he started to protest,

"No, Spock." Kirk grabbed Spock's hand to prevent him from leaving however Vulcans' are touch telepathic and that skin to skin contact between Kirk and Spock allowed Spock to feel everything.

The warmth he felt when their gazes lingered that second too long.

The joy he felt when he able to prove Spock wrong for once.

The fear he felt whenever Spock was injured or even when he was not by his side.

The anger towards whoever had hurt Spock.

The calmness her felt whenever Spock was talking to him.

The sadness he felt when he found out about about Kolinahr and Spock considering pursuing in it.

The love he felt whenever Spock was near or even mentioned.

**Spock felt everything.**

It was the most fascinating experience he had ever felt in his entire life. Spock turned to Kirk, entwining their fingers together and Kirk looked down at their hands and then back up at Spock with an overjoyed smile written on his golden face. They moved closer together letting the scent of the other fill their senses until they are living and breathing the other man in front of him. Spock's sensitive hearing pick up Kirk's rapid heart beat and he allows a smirk to play on his lips because he did this to the womaniser James Kirk. Kirk's heart was beating for Spock.

"What's that face?" Kirk asks, never seeing such an expression on Spock's face before. However Spock did not reply for as Kirk spoke, he had become obsessed with his lips. Kirk's bottom lip had a small cut where he bites it when he is stressed and the top lip dipped perfectly but most addicting was the way the light glistened across them making them seem irresistible. Too irresistible. Spock could not help himself as he leaned in, using his other hand to bring this gorgeous man closer to him, and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Spock rested his forehead on Kirk's who sighed before opening his eyes to meet Spock's. The smirk still remained as Spock replied,

"I am embracing, my love." Never had Kirk seen Spock like this and he was wondering whether this was a 'human moment' Amanda was talking about.

"I love you too." Kirk whispered as he wrapped his arms around the slightly taller character in front of him. Spock released his fingers after brushing two digits against his then he circled Kirk's waist and pulled him in for another kiss. This one was more passionate and left both participates breathless for more. Spock had tilted his head and was nipping, pulling and kissing Kirk's lips whilst his roamed his body. Under his starfleet shirt, Spock could feel his muscles and how his body tightened with every kiss. Kirk was playing with Spock's hair and rubbing his ears - loving the way Spock hissed when he did. Kirk could feel his body shiver with anticipation when Spock finally touched his bare back, by this point Spock was dizzy from lust. The name Jim repeated in his head like a song his body loved to sing and their hips were moving in tune with it. Then their feet were moving and suddenly they were falling onto bed this unfortunately caused the pair to release the others lips however it did give Kirk and Spock the chance to breathe. Panting and with a bulge in his pants, Spock looked at his lover with adoration. He sat up and stroked his soft skin as his breathing evened then Spock cupped Kirk up in his arms and placed him down on the pillow. He kissed his forehead, his nose, his eyelids, his cheeks, his jawline left to right and finally his lips again. Kirk's hand traveled into Spock's shirt and he glided his hand all over his chest, teasing the hard nipples and loving how soft his chest hair was. They stopped kissing momentarily to remove clothing and instead kiss the new skin they had revealed. Kirk moaned when Spock bit where the collarbone meets the neck and panted when Spock sucked the said spot. Spock wanted all to know that Kirk was his and his alone by claiming him with this love bite he knew he was leaving on Kirk's delicious shoulder. Pre-cum dripped from boths dicks but Spock was dripping more due to his Vulcan heritage as when the Time comes, lubrication is forgotten however Spock wanted this moment to be special so he stretched Kirk out before entering. Kirk breathed in deeply and attempted to buck off the bed but Spock had a firm grip on him as he licked the pre-cum that had dripped onto Kirk's stomach. This caused Kirk to groan when he locked eyes with Spock, tongue sticking out and pupils blown wide from lust.

Then Spock started to thrust. It was sensational - two bodies moving together to the beat of a melody only they could hear, the lyrics spoken with every touch, kiss and thrust. Kirk clinged onto Spock's shoulders for dear life as every dig drove them closer to their climax. Moans, growls and pants escaped the pairs parted and puckered lips as the sensuality continued into the long night. Chests rubbed together and heart beats were electric. Kirk let out a loud cry when Spock hit a spot that made him see stars by this point it was not lovemaking but fucking deeply into the other as though their lives depended on it. With one more kiss to the neck from Spock, Kirk released and the universe seemed to explode. There were beautiful colours and bright lights that perfectly complemented the feeling of love that had washed over them like a blanket to keep them warm.

Colours turned into figures, the lights dimmed and the warmth felt suddenly heavy. Kirk look down, panting heavily to see that Spock had collapsed on top of him, he placed a light kiss on his now messy hair and sighed peacefully. Spock snuggled closer to his lover and inhaled his favourite scent of Jim. Now that confessions had been confessed and the dirty deed had been done, they felt foolish for the time they had wasted. The chess matches played that could have led to something more and the unsaid words they regretted not saying whenever the other was in danger. The times they wanted to hit each other because they loved each other so much and the way McCoy rolled his eyes when they were together; McCoy knew - he always knew. However know was not a time for regret, now was a happy moment for two stupid souls who found each other and it taking them forever and a day to realise that they had. This was the lovers moment as they slept the night away.

* * *

- - Flashback - -

Amanda approached Sarek with a look that he knew well: his wife was planning something mischievous. That twinkle in her eyes was a fascinating thing for Sarek however he did not cease the moment to study it as Amanda began to talk.

"Did you notice the tension between Spock and the Captain at dinner, dear?" She sat opposite him as she spoke. Sarek was not one to gossip however he could not argue that he did not notice what his wife was calling 'tension'; it was rather obvious. The Captain was constantly trying to get Spock's attention yet he was ignored every time. Amanda watched Sarek with wide eyes as he contemplated his reply.

"Indeed?" His tone suggested that Amanda had more to say - which she did. The tension, she believed, was definitely sexual between her son and the Captain. Though Sarek disagreed.

"Don't you want your son to be happy?" Sarek nodded slowly, now completely engaged to where this conversation was proceeding to and Amanda smiled before leaning closer to her husband, that mischievous twinkle had returned to her eyes. She remembered a similar dinner with Sarek before they had truly fallen in love and she found it sweet to see the two men being so naive to their love.

"I believe Spock and the Captain have feelings for one and another." Sarek stated and Amanda's eyes lit up as he did. She extended two fingers for a Vulcan kiss which Sarek quickly allowed before Amanda told her husband her plan.

"Speak to Spock about Kolinahr. I'm sure Mr. Kirk feels strongly towards Spock's human side and leave the rest to me. I'll send Spock to you, my dear and then have a little chat with the Captain. We shall see how successful we are in the morning." And with that Amanda kissed Sarek on the lips and left his office. Sarek had no time to argue and very little time to compose a speech about emotions and Kolinahr for his son. However he had quickly learnt that mothers know best when it comes to their children and he had also learnt that he had married the most irrational, enthusiastic and beautiful woman in the universe. There was a knock at his door and Sarek allowed Spock to enter.

"I wish to discuss your emotions..."

**Authors Note:**

**Reviews are replied to as well as very loved. **


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